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I CANT EVEN.
Hello beautiful people.
So, life is turbulent sometimes. Shit happens. Death, addiction. I've unfortunately had to live with both. It may be a bad idea to detail these kinds of things considering this is the internet. Could even lose fans or friends. Even if that's the case, I will anyway because it's the truth.
The past eight years has been really rough at times for me. In Dec 2006 my Dad took his life. I feel like I prevailed though. I've grown a lot since I lost him because I had no choice, it was either that or lay down and die. That's not all. For a while - and mainly between the end of last January till September, I was addicted to cocaine. I almost can't believe I'm sharing that so publicly but as I said...It's the truth and that's what matters.
I was in pretty deep. Being stuck in a small northern town did not help that process. Sometime last spring, I told my Mom what was going on. Her reaction surprised me...She was scared but what she told me I won't ever forget. Without her, my siblings, my friends and their incredible support, I believe I would be well and truly fucked.
I was on vacation in September, visiting my older brother and sister, my two siblings in law and five nieces and nephews in Courtenay on Vancouver Island. Before the topic of me moving in even came up, I was sold to this place. I really, really did not want to go back north. For so many reasons. I felt too much guilt about leaving my job up there on short notice to stay, that is until my manager told me that I did not owe the company anything and that I should do what is best for myself. No lies, I started crying. My Brother, Sister and I talked about it for a while, they fed me some of their life experience as they are 6 and 9 years older than me.
I quit my job and stayed. Vancouver island, for someone like me who has spent over a decade in Canada's north, is glorious. Mountains, ocean, rainforests...All within a half hour drive? I have some of my family here which pretty much makes the deal, so I'm really lucky. I've been drawing, writing and doing photography again. You know I'm doing well when I'm DRAWING. I haven't had any drugs in over a month and I haven't wanted any. I try to keep in mind relapse is always a risk and it's going good this time. My body and my emotions have responded so well. My head feels so clear and my strength is back. So.. I will be staying in BC for the foreseeable future.
It was a good move to stay with my older brother, Jay. He's amazing and so are his wife and kids. I can't wait to start uploading some new stuff from this GORGEOUS place. Wish me luck.
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